T is for Truth: Briefcases and Breast Pumps

I'm torn. 

Little T is about 5 months old now and I'm still breastfeeding (aka "BF").

Therefore, pumping at work. 

And now I need some advice...

Some days I feel like I've reached my limit. 

That I simply cannot, will not, and flat out don't want to BF anymore, specifically b/c of the pumping.

Then, after a long day's work, I can't wait to have that time with him.
There's something about that time that is really special. 

Pumping at work is critical to keeping up my supply so I can't have one without the other.

*SIDE BAR*

Even if you aren't BF, for whatever reason, (and there are many!) 

just having one/one time over the baby's meal helps develop an emotional bond. 

I feel like the physical closeness and eye contact during is important.

Babies just know and I'm sure are grateful whichever way they get nourishment.

This isn't a post about the benefits of BF-

 rather, (and probably more honestly) its a rant about the side effects.

. I remember getting so annoyed if people, usually nosy acquaintances, would ask me if I was going to BF. How the heck did I know whether or not I'd be able to? And besides, NONE YA BIZNAS!

from here.

I digress...

My goal for BF keeps getting longer and longer. 

(Now, I'm going for 6 months max)

Frankly, I've kind of surprised myself with how long I've lasted. 

But going back to work, knowing that I'd have to pump gave me anxiety. 

It's not easy. 

Rarely, it's a welcome relief in my busy schedule; but more often than not, it's a flat out hassle. 

I pump anywhere from 3-4 times a day (btw 8am-5pm) and it usually takes a solid 20 minutes each. 

That's an hour pumping I lose out of my work day. 5 X a week (doesn't seem like much) but it adds up.

Sometimes I'll have client meetings and won't pump for 5 hours. (yes, that hurts)

I've pumped in my car. In a handicap bathroom at the airport. (gross) In the middle of the night. 

In an electrical closet. In (several) random parking lots. While driving (don't report me)...

and the list goes on and on.

It goes without saying that the benefits of BF far out weigh the inconveniences and struggles.

I feel selfish saying this but I'm ready to have my body back. Completely. 

Little T is growing (like a champ) and is of (very) healthy weight.

And since he's started some formula and cereal, the kid isn't going to bed hungry.

I've never done this before so I'm doing my best to gauge how, when, and why to stop. 

Is it bad that I get excited by how much free time I think I'll have back?!

(which I'm sure will get filled with other fun things- not being sarcastic!)

Anyways, any advice/thoughts y'all have on pumping is welcome!

XOXO-LC